When I say , I divorced my husband after 17yrs of marriage. I get a general reaction as, Why you waited for 17yrs? May be it was not your husband the only reason for divorce because if it was so, you would have divorced early.
Thats not a correct interpretation. When I got married, I tried to adjust and tried to love my husband. I did fall in love with him too. Later to realize, my love instead of making me strong was making me dependent, unloved and a not so important person in my husband’s life.
He was busy with his career, his plans, his growth.
While I was busy with household work, children , in-laws and parents responsibilities.
My children where 100% dependent on me. So even if I was feeling unloved or sad, my feelings took a back front and my kids other responsibilities were set as priority. I hardly had time for me.
With my kids grown up now, they are at school for a minimum of 6hrs and then they go out to play in evenings for 1 to 2hrs. In night they sleep for 7 to 8hrs. So in a 24hrs a day, if not all 16hrs a day atleast 13hrs a day my kids, don’t need me and I can think and focus on ME.
It is then I realized , I am not happy for a long time and now I want to do something for ME to be happy. I tried talking to my husband but he said, all was good for 17yrs, what happened to you suddenly, may be its a per-menopause symptom. Forget it.
I felt shattered. For this long I did’t speak and now when I thought atleast now he will hear, his reply was not supporting or warm at all.
It lead me to a decision, if I am not of that importance to him, let me make myself more important to ME.
I divorced him, it was not easy but I felt , I was filled with Joy and Energy and Respect and Love towards me.
I didn’t drag a relation for 17yrs, I just didn’t get time to think about me in all those years.
So next time, when you hear someone divorced after 15 or 17 or 20years of long marriage, don’t crack jokes on them. They probably were more busy with their responsibilities.
Chao
Rose D’Souza
(The name which I so belong to, My name before 17yrs of responsibility)
Thanks to Women and Kids Tycoon for letting me reach to many more sailing on the same boat.
